They say falling in love is a risk. Its never an assurance that you'll love happily ever after. Never an assurance if the love will perpetuate or will be gone in an instant and leave you alone and broken. Which probably explained why dessie never thought of getting into a commitment.
Dessie and I have been friends since 4th year highschool. and ever since i've never heard her squeal nor sigh dreamily on any guys in our campus. More or less she was like a child; sweet, submissive, and naive. Like a child, her main focus was only on friends and family. Just that. No boys, no flings. It wasnt a bad thing though. at least that's what made her distinct from all the girls Iwho know nothing but to flirt and beautify themselves for men. In fact, it never entered her mind that any man would dare court her. Not that she was ugly. In trith, she was a pretty girl. Medium height and at the blooming stage. Having a boyfriend just never crossed her mind.
Then summer came and her world suddenly turned upside down...
Cristoff was a certified hunk. Tall, pearly white skin, and chinky eyes that twinkle with humor and vibrance. But a certified heart breaker,too.
every summer he and his parents would always fly over to Bicol for a month long vacation with his grandfather who happened to own a computer shop just beside Dessie's parents' canteen.
More often than not, he would always stay at his grandpa's shop not much to help their staff and supervise but to have a reason to drop by at Dessie's cantten and see her.
" Hello guys. Im back." He went by the counter and looked around. " Where's Dessie?"
Jen, the canteen's hired waitress, grinned. " youre a bit early today, huh? She's still upstairs. Probably still dozing her head offf. But you can wait for her if you want."
He laughed as if what she said was something so ridiculous. " Oh c'mon. You know that I will. I've missed her you know." Then he winked at her. " Did she miss me?"
" Hate to burst your bibble, but I doubt if she did. You know her."
" But who knows, the whole time I wasnt here there mightve been a change of heart. and soon I ll be her boyfriend."
" So youre really serious about her,arent you?"
" What kind of question is that? Of course I am. I wouldnt be wiating out here and dropping by in this place for two years if I wasnt serious."
" well, you cant blame me. I thought you were just playing with her. Youre a playboy. everybody knows that. even your grandpa."
He chuckled. " Oh c'mon ate jen. Just because im good looking you'll instantly brand me as a womanizer. Im a good boy. Swear. I dont chase women. They chase me. But of course my heart's tied to Dessie and that's for sure." He gave a playful Mr. Suave look.
Jen snorted and threw a plastic bag at him. " Assuming much. But seriously Cristoff, if you dare try to hurt Dessie your gonna heve to answer to me and the rest of her family. You hear me?"
He grinned and made a cross accross his chest. " I wont. A boys scout promise."
Just then the door leading upstair and Dessie, fresh from the shower, came out
He grinned and his arms spread out to greet her. " Dessie!"
She froze upon seeing him, then turned to leave but he instantly caught up with her.
" Woh, wiat a minute. Arent you glad to see me? Coz I do."
Hoping not to be too offensive, Dessie forced a smile. " Uh.. dont you have something to do?"
"Now that you reminded me, actually I have."
" Really? Wel that's great. I mean, that's uh.. whatever. Anyway, if youre going now then its fine with me. I wont hold it anything against you."
He grinned. " Oh I will. And youre coming with me." He took her wrist and turned to leave.
" What?! hey wait I cant go. I still have to ask mom an dad."
She remained glued on the floor, subtly struggling to remove her wrist from his grasp.
He laughed at that and winked at her. " Dont you worry, my darling. I've already told them."
" You did?" Both Jen and Dessie asked in union.
" I got you surprised havent I? How and wwhen I did that, I wont tell you. Now lets go."
She stared at him in disbelief and reluctantly went with him to his car.
... In truth, cristoff had been courting her for two years already. When they first met two summers ago, they were good friends. But when he started to get too close and intimate with her, she started to siddle away from him. when she told me about that I was admittingly surprised. Truthfullu I have my two thumbs up for him. He's good looking, sweet, fun to be with,and nice. And though everybody thought of him as a playboy, I knew deep down that he was a one-woman man. especially if the woman was worth all his effort and love. And Dessie sure did deserve it.
but the only thing was she never intended to be his girlfriend, however persistent he was. She said that she simply didnt like him as more than friends. But of course I wasnt to be fooled. I knew she liked him. She was just afraid...
" Where are we really going Cristoff?" Dessie asked, obviously looking uncomfortable on her seat.
" Relax. I just want you to meet someone."
" Relax? Of course Im relax. What reasons should I be awkward about anyway? Right? Right?"
He shrugged his shoulders and gave her a quick glance befroe keeping his eyes back on the road. " I dont know. You tell me. We were like bestfriends before, or at least close to that, then suddenly you bacame all fidgety whenever Im around. Its either that or youre hiding away from me."
She played with her phone in her hand and sighed.
" I dont know cristoff. It maybe because you've started treating me differently."
" Differently? You mean like the sugar quoted words? The chocolate and the roses? the sweet text messages?"
" Exactly. Isnt that a bit awkward? Alright, not bit. But way awkward. I mean youre my friend and.. and..I just want us to remain that way. Just friends."
" But I was to be more than just friends."
His frankness caught her speechless. Not that he wasnt always that candid and direct with her, but somehow there was something in his voice and the way he said it that made her silent.
she looked outside and sighed again.
" I could no longer count the times you've sighed since we left." he teased. Then he veered to the left and went through the gates of Pristine Memorial Garden.
" What're we doing here? I thought you wanted me to meet someone?"
" I do."
" Oh my god, dont tell me youre gonna let me talk to the dead?"
He laughed. " You still havent changed have you?"
She smiled.
He parked the car and looked at her. " Its nice to see you smiling. Genuinely. You loke even prettier."
" Oh stop that. Youre making me feel awkward again."
He chuckled and reached for the basket of flowers at the backseat then went out. She followed.
Angelique Cris R. Lopez
May 14 1980- Sept. 18 2000
' a wonderful daughter..a sweet sister..a beautiful woman..we will miss you.'
He squatted down, laid the flowers then dusted off the epitaph.
" Hi sis. Dessie's here with me. You know, the girl I've been talking to you about. Dessie, meet my sister. Ate ange meet the love of my life, Dessie."
" Love of your life?"
He loked up at her and winked.
She squatted down beside him. " Hi ate ange. You mustnt believe whatever your brother's telling you. Im not the love of his life."
" at least not to you." He replied, and she met his eyes.
For a while they simply just did that. staring at each other. the intensity of the way he looked at her have seemed to keep her immobile.
slowly he raised his hand to touch her cheek but she instantly moved her head and stood up.
" You..uh..didnt tell me youo have a sister." She siad,trying to sound casual though her heart was fluttering in a different kind of way and she didnt know why.
He stared at the epitaph for a long time then sighed and stood up. " Well,you never asked me."
She looked at him, then down at the epitaph. He was right. She never asked anything personal about him. They've been closed friends for a little while until she learned he as planning to court her. The time wasnt even enough to know a lot about his pasts and and his inner sentiments. It was regret,though. For they couldve been good friends.
" So how did she die?"
" Car accident." He replied quietly. " she was on her way home when the car skidded and collided on a tree. she was trying to avoid the stray dog."
" Oh I see."
" But she didnt die instantly, if that's what youre thinking. The people who saw the accident acted fast and brought her to the hospital. I was at school when I got the news and I remembered being so hysterical." he chuckled, making it sound so light but she knew his thoughts were far from the present. " The accident broke her two ribs and brought a large gash on her forehead. But when I came to the hospital, her head was bandaged and she was falling in and out of consciousness. For almost two weeks I didnt go to school and just remained at her side. She was coming around, and I thought she's gonna be okay. But the next morning, the doctor pronounced her dead. Internal brain hemmorhage. That's what the doctor said."
Dessie felt the urge to touch cristoff but she held her hand back. " Im so sory.." She softly said.
He looked at her and faintly smiled. " Dont be. I know she's happy up there. I'd be selfish to pester God to bring her back to life when she's already having the time of her life. Ate abge would give me agood wacking, if I'd do that." He leaned closer and whispered, " She was an amazon, you know."
She giggled. " You know what Cristoff? She may not be around anymore, at least physically, but i know shes so glad to know that you've become a good man."
" you think so? Do you think she'd be even more happy if I finally have you as my girl?"
She groaned and turned to leave." here we go again."
" Woh wiat up." he took her hand and faced her to him. " Why is it that you always push me away? For two years I've done nothing but to try to make you like me and reach out to you but its either you turn away or block me away." He feigned a hurtful expression. " IT hurts you know."
" Oh dont play with me. You've got a lot of gorgeous women tailing after you. You dont need me."
" Really? where?" HE turned and pretended to search for them.
" I said dont play with me."
" Alright. You want me to be serious? Okay then Listen, its not them that I need. Its you. cant you see that?"
" Then later what? Ten years from now will you still say the same words to me? Or will I just be like the other women you've had? just a part of your collection."
The warm hand that was holdin her hand suddenly let go.
" Is that what you think of me,Dessie? All this time, to you Im a must avoid woman collector?"
She sighed. " I dont want to be offensive but with all the feedbacks i get from others and from the way you mingle with the other girls, who knows were a part of your life, you cant blame me if I'll get that kind of impression."
" But you could've at least tried to get to know the real me and see for yourself."
" Cristoff.."
" But then of course, you wouldnt meke such an effort,right Dessie? Because youd instantly push away any guy who dares try to get close to you. You'd instantly judge them and turn your back all because you dont want your precious heart to be broken and wounded." There was already a tinge of sarcasm in his voice.
" Pleas, dont make this harder for me."
" Im not making this harder. Its you who's making it harder. You've been protecting yourself from any possible heartbreaks too much that youre forgetting other people's emotion. all im asking is for you to give it a shot. Take the time to know me and see the sincerity in my words and in my actions. Is that such a hard thing to do?"
She remained silent. "..I dont know.."
" You dont know?" He sighed and looked away. The morning sun was shining brightly, the summer heat already burning their skin. He raked his fingers through his hair as the breeze vainly cooled their skin. Then he turned and started to his car. " I'd better take you home."
They were silent as they drove back home. And when he parked his car in front of their canteen he said to her, " I'll be leaving for manila next week."
She looked at her but he wasnt looking at her. Just straight at the road ahead.
" I just thought that you should know." He continued. " So you can have a reason to celebrate. Finally you can have the peace yoyre asking for. I wont bother you again."
she wanted to say something. To tell him that she was sorry, that maybe, just maybe, she didnt want him to leave. Call it weird but somehow she found herself hurting when he told her that he'd be leaving next week already and that he wont bother her again.
And yet no words came out of her mouth.
She stepped out and watched him leave.
Days have passed and Cristoff had really stood to his words. He no longer came to their canteen, no longer texted her,. There was no one to call her, 'my love, to call her up in the middle of the night only to crack jokes and make her laugh even if Dessie was groggily sitting by their telephone stand. She missed him. She really did. She didnt know if it was love she was feeling for him but there was one thing she was sure about: she needed him.
And so, when she finally came to her senses and realized what she was missing, she instantly came to the airport the day he was to leave..
She saw him standing there by the waiting lounge. God, she never thought he'd look so good. He looked at her, she stared back at him. she didnt say anything. she was scared. She didnt know what to do nor what to say to him after all she'd made him feel. In truth,it wasnt her pride that kept her silent and frozen from where she stood when she rather come up to him and apologize and tell him she needs him. But it was her fear. Her fear of rejection, her fear of being left alone after the magical's feeling is over. Fear that she might end up like some women she knew; alone and broken..
It was hard. By god, it was really hard for her. But she had to take the shot. It was all or nothing. Like he said to her, she'll never know once she try.
She took a deep breath and went to him. He was staring at her. Waiting..
..indeed, love's a risk. It's an unknown world of emotions, and passions. But we still take it. Dessie took the it.
I will now end her story here. It left you hanging, I know. But like in love, we all make our own ending. How things turned out between them, its all up to you to think. But there was one thing Dessie assured me after that incident. It was to trust and worry less. ;)
Dessie and I have been friends since 4th year highschool. and ever since i've never heard her squeal nor sigh dreamily on any guys in our campus. More or less she was like a child; sweet, submissive, and naive. Like a child, her main focus was only on friends and family. Just that. No boys, no flings. It wasnt a bad thing though. at least that's what made her distinct from all the girls Iwho know nothing but to flirt and beautify themselves for men. In fact, it never entered her mind that any man would dare court her. Not that she was ugly. In trith, she was a pretty girl. Medium height and at the blooming stage. Having a boyfriend just never crossed her mind.
Then summer came and her world suddenly turned upside down...
Cristoff was a certified hunk. Tall, pearly white skin, and chinky eyes that twinkle with humor and vibrance. But a certified heart breaker,too.
every summer he and his parents would always fly over to Bicol for a month long vacation with his grandfather who happened to own a computer shop just beside Dessie's parents' canteen.
More often than not, he would always stay at his grandpa's shop not much to help their staff and supervise but to have a reason to drop by at Dessie's cantten and see her.
" Hello guys. Im back." He went by the counter and looked around. " Where's Dessie?"
Jen, the canteen's hired waitress, grinned. " youre a bit early today, huh? She's still upstairs. Probably still dozing her head offf. But you can wait for her if you want."
He laughed as if what she said was something so ridiculous. " Oh c'mon. You know that I will. I've missed her you know." Then he winked at her. " Did she miss me?"
" Hate to burst your bibble, but I doubt if she did. You know her."
" But who knows, the whole time I wasnt here there mightve been a change of heart. and soon I ll be her boyfriend."
" So youre really serious about her,arent you?"
" What kind of question is that? Of course I am. I wouldnt be wiating out here and dropping by in this place for two years if I wasnt serious."
" well, you cant blame me. I thought you were just playing with her. Youre a playboy. everybody knows that. even your grandpa."
He chuckled. " Oh c'mon ate jen. Just because im good looking you'll instantly brand me as a womanizer. Im a good boy. Swear. I dont chase women. They chase me. But of course my heart's tied to Dessie and that's for sure." He gave a playful Mr. Suave look.
Jen snorted and threw a plastic bag at him. " Assuming much. But seriously Cristoff, if you dare try to hurt Dessie your gonna heve to answer to me and the rest of her family. You hear me?"
He grinned and made a cross accross his chest. " I wont. A boys scout promise."
Just then the door leading upstair and Dessie, fresh from the shower, came out
He grinned and his arms spread out to greet her. " Dessie!"
She froze upon seeing him, then turned to leave but he instantly caught up with her.
" Woh, wiat a minute. Arent you glad to see me? Coz I do."
Hoping not to be too offensive, Dessie forced a smile. " Uh.. dont you have something to do?"
"Now that you reminded me, actually I have."
" Really? Wel that's great. I mean, that's uh.. whatever. Anyway, if youre going now then its fine with me. I wont hold it anything against you."
He grinned. " Oh I will. And youre coming with me." He took her wrist and turned to leave.
" What?! hey wait I cant go. I still have to ask mom an dad."
She remained glued on the floor, subtly struggling to remove her wrist from his grasp.
He laughed at that and winked at her. " Dont you worry, my darling. I've already told them."
" You did?" Both Jen and Dessie asked in union.
" I got you surprised havent I? How and wwhen I did that, I wont tell you. Now lets go."
She stared at him in disbelief and reluctantly went with him to his car.
... In truth, cristoff had been courting her for two years already. When they first met two summers ago, they were good friends. But when he started to get too close and intimate with her, she started to siddle away from him. when she told me about that I was admittingly surprised. Truthfullu I have my two thumbs up for him. He's good looking, sweet, fun to be with,and nice. And though everybody thought of him as a playboy, I knew deep down that he was a one-woman man. especially if the woman was worth all his effort and love. And Dessie sure did deserve it.
but the only thing was she never intended to be his girlfriend, however persistent he was. She said that she simply didnt like him as more than friends. But of course I wasnt to be fooled. I knew she liked him. She was just afraid...
" Where are we really going Cristoff?" Dessie asked, obviously looking uncomfortable on her seat.
" Relax. I just want you to meet someone."
" Relax? Of course Im relax. What reasons should I be awkward about anyway? Right? Right?"
He shrugged his shoulders and gave her a quick glance befroe keeping his eyes back on the road. " I dont know. You tell me. We were like bestfriends before, or at least close to that, then suddenly you bacame all fidgety whenever Im around. Its either that or youre hiding away from me."
She played with her phone in her hand and sighed.
" I dont know cristoff. It maybe because you've started treating me differently."
" Differently? You mean like the sugar quoted words? The chocolate and the roses? the sweet text messages?"
" Exactly. Isnt that a bit awkward? Alright, not bit. But way awkward. I mean youre my friend and.. and..I just want us to remain that way. Just friends."
" But I was to be more than just friends."
His frankness caught her speechless. Not that he wasnt always that candid and direct with her, but somehow there was something in his voice and the way he said it that made her silent.
she looked outside and sighed again.
" I could no longer count the times you've sighed since we left." he teased. Then he veered to the left and went through the gates of Pristine Memorial Garden.
" What're we doing here? I thought you wanted me to meet someone?"
" I do."
" Oh my god, dont tell me youre gonna let me talk to the dead?"
He laughed. " You still havent changed have you?"
She smiled.
He parked the car and looked at her. " Its nice to see you smiling. Genuinely. You loke even prettier."
" Oh stop that. Youre making me feel awkward again."
He chuckled and reached for the basket of flowers at the backseat then went out. She followed.
Angelique Cris R. Lopez
May 14 1980- Sept. 18 2000
' a wonderful daughter..a sweet sister..a beautiful woman..we will miss you.'
He squatted down, laid the flowers then dusted off the epitaph.
" Hi sis. Dessie's here with me. You know, the girl I've been talking to you about. Dessie, meet my sister. Ate ange meet the love of my life, Dessie."
" Love of your life?"
He loked up at her and winked.
She squatted down beside him. " Hi ate ange. You mustnt believe whatever your brother's telling you. Im not the love of his life."
" at least not to you." He replied, and she met his eyes.
For a while they simply just did that. staring at each other. the intensity of the way he looked at her have seemed to keep her immobile.
slowly he raised his hand to touch her cheek but she instantly moved her head and stood up.
" You..uh..didnt tell me youo have a sister." She siad,trying to sound casual though her heart was fluttering in a different kind of way and she didnt know why.
He stared at the epitaph for a long time then sighed and stood up. " Well,you never asked me."
She looked at him, then down at the epitaph. He was right. She never asked anything personal about him. They've been closed friends for a little while until she learned he as planning to court her. The time wasnt even enough to know a lot about his pasts and and his inner sentiments. It was regret,though. For they couldve been good friends.
" So how did she die?"
" Car accident." He replied quietly. " she was on her way home when the car skidded and collided on a tree. she was trying to avoid the stray dog."
" Oh I see."
" But she didnt die instantly, if that's what youre thinking. The people who saw the accident acted fast and brought her to the hospital. I was at school when I got the news and I remembered being so hysterical." he chuckled, making it sound so light but she knew his thoughts were far from the present. " The accident broke her two ribs and brought a large gash on her forehead. But when I came to the hospital, her head was bandaged and she was falling in and out of consciousness. For almost two weeks I didnt go to school and just remained at her side. She was coming around, and I thought she's gonna be okay. But the next morning, the doctor pronounced her dead. Internal brain hemmorhage. That's what the doctor said."
Dessie felt the urge to touch cristoff but she held her hand back. " Im so sory.." She softly said.
He looked at her and faintly smiled. " Dont be. I know she's happy up there. I'd be selfish to pester God to bring her back to life when she's already having the time of her life. Ate abge would give me agood wacking, if I'd do that." He leaned closer and whispered, " She was an amazon, you know."
She giggled. " You know what Cristoff? She may not be around anymore, at least physically, but i know shes so glad to know that you've become a good man."
" you think so? Do you think she'd be even more happy if I finally have you as my girl?"
She groaned and turned to leave." here we go again."
" Woh wiat up." he took her hand and faced her to him. " Why is it that you always push me away? For two years I've done nothing but to try to make you like me and reach out to you but its either you turn away or block me away." He feigned a hurtful expression. " IT hurts you know."
" Oh dont play with me. You've got a lot of gorgeous women tailing after you. You dont need me."
" Really? where?" HE turned and pretended to search for them.
" I said dont play with me."
" Alright. You want me to be serious? Okay then Listen, its not them that I need. Its you. cant you see that?"
" Then later what? Ten years from now will you still say the same words to me? Or will I just be like the other women you've had? just a part of your collection."
The warm hand that was holdin her hand suddenly let go.
" Is that what you think of me,Dessie? All this time, to you Im a must avoid woman collector?"
She sighed. " I dont want to be offensive but with all the feedbacks i get from others and from the way you mingle with the other girls, who knows were a part of your life, you cant blame me if I'll get that kind of impression."
" But you could've at least tried to get to know the real me and see for yourself."
" Cristoff.."
" But then of course, you wouldnt meke such an effort,right Dessie? Because youd instantly push away any guy who dares try to get close to you. You'd instantly judge them and turn your back all because you dont want your precious heart to be broken and wounded." There was already a tinge of sarcasm in his voice.
" Pleas, dont make this harder for me."
" Im not making this harder. Its you who's making it harder. You've been protecting yourself from any possible heartbreaks too much that youre forgetting other people's emotion. all im asking is for you to give it a shot. Take the time to know me and see the sincerity in my words and in my actions. Is that such a hard thing to do?"
She remained silent. "..I dont know.."
" You dont know?" He sighed and looked away. The morning sun was shining brightly, the summer heat already burning their skin. He raked his fingers through his hair as the breeze vainly cooled their skin. Then he turned and started to his car. " I'd better take you home."
They were silent as they drove back home. And when he parked his car in front of their canteen he said to her, " I'll be leaving for manila next week."
She looked at her but he wasnt looking at her. Just straight at the road ahead.
" I just thought that you should know." He continued. " So you can have a reason to celebrate. Finally you can have the peace yoyre asking for. I wont bother you again."
she wanted to say something. To tell him that she was sorry, that maybe, just maybe, she didnt want him to leave. Call it weird but somehow she found herself hurting when he told her that he'd be leaving next week already and that he wont bother her again.
And yet no words came out of her mouth.
She stepped out and watched him leave.
Days have passed and Cristoff had really stood to his words. He no longer came to their canteen, no longer texted her,. There was no one to call her, 'my love, to call her up in the middle of the night only to crack jokes and make her laugh even if Dessie was groggily sitting by their telephone stand. She missed him. She really did. She didnt know if it was love she was feeling for him but there was one thing she was sure about: she needed him.
And so, when she finally came to her senses and realized what she was missing, she instantly came to the airport the day he was to leave..
She saw him standing there by the waiting lounge. God, she never thought he'd look so good. He looked at her, she stared back at him. she didnt say anything. she was scared. She didnt know what to do nor what to say to him after all she'd made him feel. In truth,it wasnt her pride that kept her silent and frozen from where she stood when she rather come up to him and apologize and tell him she needs him. But it was her fear. Her fear of rejection, her fear of being left alone after the magical's feeling is over. Fear that she might end up like some women she knew; alone and broken..
It was hard. By god, it was really hard for her. But she had to take the shot. It was all or nothing. Like he said to her, she'll never know once she try.
She took a deep breath and went to him. He was staring at her. Waiting..
..indeed, love's a risk. It's an unknown world of emotions, and passions. But we still take it. Dessie took the it.
I will now end her story here. It left you hanging, I know. But like in love, we all make our own ending. How things turned out between them, its all up to you to think. But there was one thing Dessie assured me after that incident. It was to trust and worry less. ;)
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